Ray of light
by Eevee
Summary: My first upload on FF.net. Bizarre humor that isn't really funny, but... eh... whatever.


Ray of light (the only title I could come up with, believe it or not)  
  
  
  
Okay, I didn't read any serious stories when I came up with this one, I saw "The bridge bike gang" and noticed how hard Misty was trying to beat up Psyduck, and suddenly realized why Zelda from the Rare candy shop was so obsessed with her being a pokèmon abuser… And with the shame in the face I have to admit that I was a part - time Sunset Beach addicted little nerd, and that Sean and Antonio was my all - time favorites… And Annie, of course.  
  
Well, it's time for the special disclaimers: I still don't owe Pokèmon or any characters in there, and nor do I owe Joey, Chandler, Ross or any of the Friends gang, Sunset Beach or any people living there - not in the real place (it's actually a place called that) or in the soap opera. I don't owe Spice up your life, Backstreet's Back, Oops I did it again or Barbie girl either. And not Ray of light, My heart will go on, Caught out there, Flying without wings, Everytime, Man from Milwaukee, Mmmbop or the lousy ballad at "the paltinium album" witch I can't give you the name of since I'm to lazy to drag my butt over to the CD - shelf to check.  
  
And of course I don't owe A1, Backstreet Boys, NKOTB, Take That, Boyzone, Ricky Martin, Aaron Carter, Hanson, Westlife, 5Five or Nzync, and believe it or not, not Vengaboys or Kelis either.  
  
As with the others, I don't owe Polgara the Sorceress, Poledra (probably a sorceress too), Neri the ocean girl, Galadriel the elfin queen or Winnowill the evil chick in Elfquest, but Saryllian, Cynfane and Otinnèy all are mine creations, don't steal them please! (Not that I think anyone would, but I felt I had to say it - they're mine!!)  
  
I don't owe "How you doin'?" or "The Team Rocket Babe Magnet Method", and I didn't have any intentions of copying it or the occasions around it. It just occured me afterwards that I probably did!  
  
And of course I don't owe Unca Scrooge or the black - haired bitch/witch (I love her! Not that way… but I think she's really cool! But I don't know her English name… do tell if you do!). Ya hear me, Disney?! I don't! Don't sue me, even though I used them without permission!  
  
I don't owe the Moomies either. This is my revenge for making my little sister want to go to the Moomie world last summer, I'm still having nightmares about it. Take no offense, Moomie fans!  
  
And, of course, this is one more of those 'I'm writing about things I shouldn't really have a clue about' stories. This time, I'm as always faking Meowth's accent, and I'm making fun of Butch's voice, even thought I've never heard it.  
  
So, the last little thing I felt I had to do. I've never rated any of my things before, and I'm not trying to in this either, but there are warnings needed: A couple of people uses dirty tricks to get the day of to spend it in a hotel room, normal sweet and caring cartoon characters are appearing with machine guns, people are swearing and American presidents are stomped by Exeggcutors. You're reading this on your own risks.  
  
********  
  
It is another lovely day for our heroes, and Ash just earned a crappy badge in a gym somewhere we don't know and honestly don't care either.. The future seems bright, but dark clouds of trouble are gathering in the horizon…  
  
"Oh, this is such a lovely day!" Misty sighted and hugged Togepi tighter.  
  
"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Agreed Brock and took a depth breath.  
  
Ash was walking first, as usual, but suddenly stopped and turned. "Hey, were did Tracey go?"  
  
"I'm coming, I just had to observe a bit…" the voice of the pokèmon watcher could be heard form behind, and he came running down the road behind them, his sketchbook in his hand.  
  
"Oh really? What was it this time?" Misty asked sarcastically.  
  
"Well, there's a Nurse Joy nudist beach right over there."  
  
A weird sound come from behind, causing them both to turn. It had started vaporizing from Brock's ears  
  
"Now look what you did! You broke him!" Ash whined at Tracey.  
  
"Ash, you don't break people, you mentally abuses them!" came Misty's answer.  
  
"Oops, I forgot… what do we do?" Tracey laughed sheepishly.  
  
"Well, I guess we should get him to a doctor or something…" Ash said after thinking a while.  
  
"But Ash, the only doctor we know is Doctor Proctor, and I don't want to go back to there!" his female friend complained.  
  
"Hey, who was Doctor Proctor?" Tracey asked curiously.  
  
"Brock's father I think, they are acting similar with girls."  
  
"Misty, Brock's father is in Pewter, don't you remember? Doctor Proctor is his mother!" Ash snorted.  
  
"What do you mean? Doctor Proctor is a guy, dammit! And his mother is dead anyway!"  
  
"I know!"  
  
"Then why did you say that? Some stupid joke?"  
  
"I don't know, I just did!"  
  
"That's the problem with you, Ash Ketchum! You NEVER know what you're doing!"  
  
Tracey, sensing that third world war was about to break out pulled Ash away and placed himself between them. "Cool down now, guys, and let's concentrate on the real problem here…"  
  
Ash and Misty gave each other a some rather nasty glares, but didn't say anything and nodded in agreement.  
  
  
  
Thirty minuets with various attempts passed, and Brock was still glaring at nothing at all.  
  
"Okay, it didn't work to burn old socks, thundershock him, tell him that Officer Jenny wanted to handcuff him, play Barbie girl, Oops I did it again, Spice up your life and Backstreets's back at once, feed Vulpix garlic and chili and then make it use flamethrower on him, show the Sunset Beach episode where Ben and Meg get married or run forks over china plates. Do you have more ideas?" Tracey sighed as he seated himself at a stone.  
  
"Hmm… Perhaps another shock could wake him up from the one he's in right now?" Ash suggested.  
  
"Can anything be more like a dream for him than that?" snorted Misty slightly annoyed.  
  
"Only if we got Officer Jenny to strip for him…" Tracey said, not really to up to the idea.  
  
"I don't think she'll do that."  
  
All three of them made those little mushroom clouds and continued to think.  
  
"Well, we could play that episode where Amy gets Sean in bed…" Misty suggested after ten minuets.  
  
"Misty?" Ash asked.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How long, exactly, have Sunset Beach been off?"  
  
"Ehh… I dunno… But Sean's nude there…"  
  
"Misty, I could have understood everyone else… Ben, yes. Casey, yes. Cole, yes. Michael, yes. Leo, yes. Ricardo, yes. Antonio, yes. Brad, more or less. Gregory and A. J, even them. But SEAN?!"  
  
"Yeah, like you knows what girls wants!"  
  
"Just ask anyone else, they'll say the same!"  
  
"Tracey?"  
  
He sighed. "Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Ash there…"  
  
"Oh my god, isn't there any straight males around here?!" She screamed.  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"Well, there's always Brock…" Misty said and looked a little comforted.  
  
She started nudging him brutally. When it didn't help she started hitting him with his apron.  
  
"Brock! Brock! Wake up, you %[#"&******@"#!!!" She yelled, with no reaction.  
  
Ash and Tracey winced as she started to kick him.  
  
"Hey Misty, I thought you didn't count him as gay!" Ash said after a while, looking slightly smugly.  
  
"You know, I don't really think that'll work…" Tracey suggested carefully. Misty, still furious, turned to him.  
  
"Well, you was the who broke him, so you better fix him too!"  
  
"Misty, you said that you don't break…" Ash started, but she cut him of.  
  
"Shut the hell up, you bike – trashing little…" Tracey groaned as Ash started to yell back at her.  
  
"Well, things are getting fairly desperate here…" he said to himself, as Misty was yelling at Ash and hitting him with the apron.  
  
"Well, this isn't the thing I most want to do, but…" They still gave no reply.  
  
He sighed one more time before he leaned forward and kissed Brock. Ash and Misty suddenly took a break in the fight to notice it.  
  
"OH EWWW!" They both exclaimed at once.  
  
Brock suddenly grabbed Tracey's face with both hands and started to kiss back, making Tracey back of with his eyes widely open in shock. Then Brock opened his eyes (Yes, Brock opened his eyes), and they both shrieked horrified at each other.  
  
Brock pushed Tracey away, and he stumbled backwards and fell of a cliff that suddenly appeared there, screaming in terror.  
  
Misty, Ash and Brock all ran to the cliff and watched him fall down, then hit ground with a muffled sound, making all three of them wince at once.  
  
There was a long silence. Then Ash and Misty both turned toward Brock  
  
"Oh my God, you killed Tracey!" Misty exclaimed.  
  
"You bastard!" Ash added.  
  
"Isn't this line used far to often in fanfics like this?" Pikachu sighed and shook his head sadly.  
  
"Pikachu, did you say something?" Ash asked puzzled, turning to his pokèmon.  
  
"Pika, pikachu, chuu!" Pikachu hurried to say with a sheepish grin as a huge sweatdrop was forming as his head, and he rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"Oh well, then, but seriously, Brock, did you have to do that?" Ash said, as Pikachu sighed in relief.  
  
"It wasn't like I did it on purpose…" Brock started, and after a couple of seconds he added: "Hey, isn't this the point where you're supposed to start dancing around since Tracey's dead?"  
  
"That's in OTHER PEOPLE'S fanfics!" Misty yelled at him, punching him in the guts.  
  
"Misty, what do you mean?" Ash asked her as Brock fell to the ground, moaning lightly.  
  
"I don't have a clue!" she yelled and punched him too.  
  
With both of her companions groaning in front of her she started to pout.  
  
"This always happens to me…" she muttered annoyed, but then remembered why she had been so eager to awake Brock.  
  
"Hey Brock, isn't Sean the cutest Sunset Beach guy?" she asked. Brock frowned a moment, but it soon gave place for a dreamy smile.  
  
"…Annie…" he sighed.  
  
"Brock!" Misty screamed, and he snapped put of it.  
  
"Yeah?" he replied, "Misty, that Nurse Joy nude…"  
  
"He lied. It was a damn rattata."  
  
"Oh." Brock said disappointed, "Wow, I just remembered something! I got my first kiss today!" he exclaimed, grinning like there was no tomorrow.  
  
"That was Tracey!" Ash and Misty yelled at once.  
  
"Yeah, but it still was a kiss…" he muttered a little offended.  
  
"Tell me this isn't happening!" Misty loudly moaned and kicked him again. Ash had managed to stagger to his feet again, but was still clutching his stomach as he winced with every move he made.  
  
"Misty, I really think that you should see a psychologist about that attitude problem of yours…" he suggested, and a moment after whimpering joined his friend on the ground.  
  
Before anything more happened a tall, dark - haired man in jeans and a t - shirt with "the knicks" on entered the place.  
  
"Hey, what's up?" he asked, looking puzzled at the boys at the ground, then bolted his sandwich.  
  
"Err… who are you?" Misty asked warily.  
  
"Oh. I'm Joey. I'm an actor." He answered with a little smirk.  
  
"Oh - kayh…" she said slowly.  
  
"Hey, you don't know here I can buy some fried chicken?" he asked her.  
  
"What's a chicken?"  
  
  
  
Team Rocket didn't do to well. Giovanni was on vacation, and it was Butch and Cassidy's Raticate who was in charge of the entire organization, and that, of course, had some effects. By the time Mickey, as he was named, was busy gnawing at Giovanni's probably very expensive teak chair, and he wasn't to thrilled when the video screen turned itself on, revealing the faces of Jessie, James and Meowth.  
  
"Err, boss…" James started.  
  
Without turning to face them Mickey growled into the voice changer laying beside him.  
  
"Wow, that's a nasty cold you've come down with!" Jessie exclaimed.  
  
"Dat ain't da boss!" Meowth screeched, "Dat's a damn Raticate!"  
  
"Meowth!" his teammates hissed and punched him to the ground.  
  
"Ignore him, boss, just thundershocked a couple of times too many…" Jessie said with a sheepish grin. Mickey was getting annoyed, and growled some more.  
  
"He says dat if we don't piss of he's gonna make Butch sing "Ray of light" until our ears are burned of." Meowth translated.  
  
"Meowth, the boss ain't a Raticate and he wouldn't do something like that to anybody!" Jessie sternly told him. Mickey most of all wanted to get back to his businesses with the chair, but fully aware of that his days with power was over if they knew who he was snapped more.  
  
"He says dat he'll make Cassidy give ya a make - over if we don't leave." Meowth said. Jessie vent pale and threw the receiver down at the phone, breaking the connection. Mickey sighed happily and was about to slid down to the floor when the screen was turned on again.  
  
"I'm sorry about that, boss, it was just Meowth joking…" Jessie said with the same grin as before. In the background the sound of cat groan in pain was heard.  
  
Mickey was about to tell them to go to hell again when James piped in.  
  
"Boss, we wondered if it was okay if we took the rest of the day of…" Mickey, more then just a little annoyed, eyed a chance to get rid of them.  
  
"He wants ta know what ye'll be doin." Meowth said, wincing in pain, and his teammates surprisingly didn't question it.  
  
"Well, we kinda planned to…" James started, but Jessie stomped on his foot and whispered something into his ears.  
  
"Ooohh…" he said and nodded.  
  
"We'll be… err…" he tried once again, and Jessie whispered some more, "We'll be doing our share to let the world be joined in peace and love, make humanity live on and achieve enlightenment." he concluded. Mickey started to snicker.  
  
"He says it's okay." Meowth told them.  
  
"Oh, thank you!" Jessie said and grinned. Mickey grinned even wider as he turned around and started typing on the computer in front of him.  
  
  
  
"So, what are we really doin today?" Meowth eagerly asked. Jessie and James exchanged glances.  
  
"Well, I don't know what you'll be up to, but we're gonna find ourselves a comfortable hotel room as soon as possible." Jessie said, and they both disappeared from sight. Meowth looked puzzled at them as they ran down the road, before the realization struck him.  
  
"Hey! Yer not supposed ta do dat!" he screeched and started to chase them.  
  
  
  
Misty, Ash, Brock and Joey entered the pokèmon center, and Brock reacted the way he usually does whenever something has to do with Nurse Joy, but before he managed to start anything Joey walked over.  
  
"How you doin'?" he asked, and Nurse Joy vent bright red and gave a shy giggle as she turned away from him. Ash and Misty was busy fighting over something, but Brock stared in awe.  
  
After a couple of minuets Joy had delivered their pokèballs to be treated, and Joey was flirting like there was no tomorrow with her, as Brock looked like he was seeing God alive.  
  
After ten more minuets Joy vent to get their pokèballs again, and when they left Joey announced that he had a date.  
  
"How did you manage that?!" Brock shouted.  
  
"You gotta tell me! I have to know! Please! I'll do anything!" he continued, taking Joey's hand and look pleadingly at him.  
  
"I'm sorry, man, it's the Tribbiani charm. Cannot be learned." He replied calmly.  
  
"But puh - leeeaaaseeee…." Brock wailed. Joey looked a little uncomfortable.  
  
  
  
"Hey! Let me in!" Meowth yelled as he kicked the door. No reply.  
  
"I know yer in there, just let me in already!" he continued. Nothing happened.  
  
"I'm telling the boss about youse guys!"  
  
"Alright, what do you want?" Jessie snapped and peered out from the door, but before Meowth replied two more people stepped in front of him.  
  
"We got a mission from the boss." Cassidy smirked and handed Butch the diskman. He nodded and put on the earplugs. James had also showed up by then.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked, looking a bit peeved at Butch and Cassidy. They suddenly realized that Butch was turning the discman on, and with the volume at max.  
  
"Butch! NO! I was supposed to giver her the make - over first!" Cassidy yelled, and started a panicked search through her purse.  
  
"What's going on?" James said, clinging to Jessie for all he was worth. She pried him of and jumped on Cassidy instead, knocking her to the ground.  
  
"Jessie! He's gonna SING!" James wailed as Butch with his eyes closed was humming to the music.  
  
"Give me those!" Jessie snarled, trying to pull some ear guards from her.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Do you want me dead?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
Their argument was abruptly broken by Butch singing.  
  
"Zephyr in the sky at night, I wooondeeer, do my tears of mooouuurning, sink beneath the suuuunn…."  
  
Jessie and Cassidy both looked up at Butch, still with his eyes closed. Then they looked at each other, and started to wrestle more then ever.  
  
"She's got herself a universe, gone quiiiiicklyyyyy, for the call of thuuuuundeeer, threatens everyooooone…."  
  
James had started to wince, and he was trying to cover his ears with his hands.  
  
"And I feeeeeel, like I just got hooome, and I feeeel…. And I feeeeeel, like I just got home, and I feeeeeEEEEEELLLLL"  
  
Jessie and Cassidy tried to scream curses and insults louder then he was singing, but failed miserably, as James was laying at the floor, yelping as a abandoned kitten. Meowth looked ready to kill himself  
  
"Faster then the speeding light, she's flyyyyiiing, trying to remembeeeeer, where it all begaaaaan…" James was sobbing in a corner, pressing his hands over his ears, Meowth had emerged into a pokèball that was scattered at the floor and the two women was fighting like life itself depended of it.  
  
"She's got herself a little piece of heeeaaveeen, watinging for the tiiiime when eeeaaarth shall be as oooooncee…"  
  
Jessie managed to get the ear guards, and breathed in relief as she put them on. The trauma from earlier wouldn't let go, so she sat herself on the bed, pressing her eyes shoot until she was sure it was over.  
  
She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. Butch was kneeling beside Cassidy, who was lying completely still on the floor, but she didn't really mind that, since James too was lying completely still at the floor.  
  
"James…" she whispered and shook him gently. He moaned and turned over a bit, facing her.  
  
"Oh James, I'm so sorry! I forgot… I didn't think about…" she whimpered, as Butch left the room with Cassidy in his arms.  
  
"Jess… we're all dying someday…" he said weakly.  
  
"But this is unfair! It's not like we deserved it, or anything…" she said.  
  
"Jess, before I die, I just want you to know that I love…" he stared, but the was to weak to continue.  
  
"James…" she said, taking his hands in her owns.  
  
"Whatsa matter? He's DYING?" Meowth exclaimed, causing her to turn around.  
  
"Yes he is!" she screamed at him.  
  
"James… I love you…" she whispered and bent down to kiss him.  
  
"Geez… sure about dat?"  
  
"I'M TRYING TO HAVE MOMENT HERE!!" she roared and slammed the pokèmon into the opposite wall.  
  
"James…" she whispered one more time, and then gently pressed her lips to his. When she removed them he wasn't breathing anymore.  
  
"My God, Jess, what's…"  
  
"He's dead!" she wailed, and started to sob into James's chest.  
  
  
  
"How you doin'?" Brock smirked at Misty.  
  
"Brock, knock it of!"  
  
"You don't get the right sound to it, man!" Joey explained, and then turned to Misty.  
  
"How you doin'?" The result was similar as with Nurse Joy.  
  
  
  
When Mickey a couple of hours later got reports that both James and Cassidy had deceased during the day he started to rethink his little prank, but since he still was pissed at Jessie for disturbing him earlier he ordered Butch to take a newbie with him and team up with her, so it was a rather gloomy Jessie that found herself chasing Ash later that day.  
  
Butch wasn't in the best mood either, and Meowth knowing Jessie pretty good was keeping his mouth shut.  
  
"What's up? Anybody died?" the new guy asked.  
  
"Yes as a matter of fact!" she turned around and shrieked at him.  
  
"Geez…" he muttered.  
  
Butch was starting to hum again, something that probably was supposed to be My heart will go on. Veins was popping out at Jessie's forehead.  
  
"Sorry to say it, but I don' t think showbiz is the carrier for you." The other guy said. Meowth had for some reason started to sing with Butch.  
  
"Everyyy night in myyy dreaaams, I seeee yooouuu, I feeeeel yoooouuu…" the two of them started, and it snapped for Jessie.  
  
"Butch, if you dare open your mouth once more I'm ripping your tongue out, Meowth, say anything and I'm feeding you to the boss's Persian, and Chandler, one more smart comment and you'll find out if there's a life after death, get it?!" she screamed at them, her head growing 5 times. Chandler and Meowth both was hiding behind Butch, and all tree of them nodded as they started horrified at her.  
  
  
  
Misty was gazing dreamily at Joey as he tried to explain something to Brock, as Ash looked pretty left - out with Pikachu on shoulders.  
  
"You know, I don't think they'll notice if we just left…" he muttered sadly, looking over his shoulder.  
  
"Pika." The rodent answered.  
  
"Prepare for trouble!" a hoarse female voice shouted, standing in front of them with a guy dressed in regular clothes, and wearing glasses. Ten seconds passed by, and she nudged her companion.  
  
"Auch! That hurt!" he winced.  
  
"Well, at least you make me think about James…" Jessie muttered sadly before she yanked him behind some trees. A minuet later they emerged again, this time with Butch there too.  
  
"Prepare for trouble!" Jessie shouted.  
  
"And make it double…" Chandler chuckled amused, with his hands in his pockets.  
  
"To protect the world from devastation!" she exclaimed.  
"To blight all peoples within our nation!" Butch continued.  
  
"To steal all Pokèmon with pure elation!" Chandler shot in.  
  
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"  
  
"To extend our wrath to the starts above!"  
  
"To finally catch the peaceful dove!"  
  
"Jessie!"  
  
"Butch!"  
  
"Chandler!"  
  
"Team Rocket blast of at the speed of light!"  
  
"Surrender know or you'll surely loose the fight!"  
  
"We're beating the crap out of the heroic knight!"  
  
"Me - owth! Dat's right!"  
  
A painful silence followed.  
  
"To finally catch the peaceful dove?" Misty repeated weakly.  
  
"It was the only thing that rhymed!" Jessie cried.  
  
"Where's James?" Ash asked warily.  
  
"He died." Jessie said and sniffled, before she broke completely down and lay at the ground sobbing hysterically, as her companions sweatdropped.  
  
"Joe!" Chandler exclaimed.  
  
"Chandler!"  
  
"I thought I was lost alone here!"  
  
"But now we're two!" They ran over and embraced each other.  
  
"Hey Ash, something just occurred me." Brock said and frowned, "Now Tracey is dead, and James is dead, and those are the author's favorite characters. If this is the scheme she's following then… you should be the next to die!" he suddenly gasped. Ash vent pale.  
  
"NO! I'M GONNA BE A POKÈMON MASTER! I'M TO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!" he cried. Brock was just about to say something meaningful when he eyed something even more meaningful.  
  
"Chicks!" he exclaimed and ran over to a clearing 50 meters away, all others following closely.  
  
Sure enough, in the clearing there was a table with a bunch of young women seated around, all of them dressed in antic gowns and chatting with each other. That means, one of them had blond hair and was dressed in rags.  
  
"Hi… I… I…my… my…n ..name…" Brock started, taking the hand of a woman with black hair, except for a single white lock. She looked rather peeved at him before she pushed him away. He then turned to a woman with long, black hair.  
  
"I'm Brock…" he started before she slapped him.  
  
"You think you should be so mean to him, Cynfane?" the youngest one, a girl with brown curls said a little nervous.  
  
"Saryllian, that's the only way to get rid of them." The other one explained.  
  
"Wow, I think she likes me!" Brock said and raised up again, this time heading towards a blonde elf.  
  
"I'm Brock, and I want to be a pokèmon breeder!" he told her.  
  
"Wow, he have never managed to get that out that fast before!" Ash whispered to Misty.  
  
"Oh dear…" she said, before a duck with black hair and a raven at her shoulder yanked him away.  
  
"Listen, kid, if you'll get me the first coin Scrooge McDuck ever earned, I'll give you the night of all your…"  
  
"Forget about it." Another one said. He turned to the one with the rags, but she only looked at him and pushed him over to the left.  
  
"Boy, we would be really happy if you just left us where we are for the moment, we're having some important businesses…" a chubby, blond woman started.  
  
"Do you love me?" he asked stunned. She slapped him, and he turned toward an older woman with golden eyes.  
  
"You… I…" he said.  
  
"Mother, I think he's hitting on you." The one with the white lock said calmly. Her mother turned around.  
  
"Yes, Pol, he is." She said, and kicked him away, right into the lap of the one with the brown curls, but he didn't stay for long, since her black - haired companion yanked him away.  
  
Brock seemed to calm down a little. He sat at the ground for a while, resting his cheeks in his hands, before he seemed to get a nice idea.  
  
"How you doin'?" he smirked and winked at the last one at the table, an elf with long, black hair that sparkled in all other colors. She gave him an icy glare before she lifted her arm and placed it at his head. Then he started to glow blue, and after a moment he melted into a little pool, which quickly drained away into the ground.  
  
"Aw, that was a nasty one, Winnowill!" one of the other complained.  
  
"So? I'm supposed to be evil!" she replied calmly, but leered at the other people staring at them.  
  
"Piss off! This is a private gathering!" she yelled, and they all ran away faster then Team Rocket blast's off.  
  
  
  
"What happened?" Ash gasped when he finally was able to stop panting too hard.  
  
"I think Brock just died…" Misty said.  
  
"But the author doesn't like him, does she?"  
  
"Well, not that much… and she still likes you, James and Tracey better." Misty explained.  
  
"Misty, do you have a clue what we're talking about?" Ash asked.  
  
"No."  
  
Both of them stared in each other's eyes.  
  
"What the heck's going on here!?" They wailed.  
  
"Let's se…" Jessie muttered, sensing that Chandler probably wasn't going to leave Joey in the first time, "James, Brock and Tracey died, to be replaced by Chandler, Joey and Butch… no, Butch, why are you here?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Then keep your mouth shut."  
  
"Okay…"  
  
Joey and Chandler suddenly seemed to remember something.  
  
"Hey, were is Ross?" Joey asked.  
  
"I thought he was with you!" Chandler answered.  
  
"We lost Ross?"  
  
  
"Seems like it."  
  
"Who's Ross?"  
  
"There's Ross!" Joey shouted happily, pointing over at Ross Geller, for the moment inspecting a stone.  
  
"Oh, hi guys!" he said and ran over to them, "Guess what, I just found something that is a fossil of…okay…" he muttered after meeting the glares of his buddys, "But who are all these people?" he asked, looking more or less the entire Pokèmon cast.  
  
"I don't know about Joey's gang, but you see that chick with the freaky hair? She and the guy is some kind of criminals, I think…"  
  
  
  
Somewhere in the northern Norwegian boondocks a fanfic writer was getting slightly annoyed. If the facts that she had slept less than six hours last night, 'that time of month' was expected to start within the next 24 hours, she was babysitting her 4 year old sister and 12 year old brother and A1 was playing "Everytime" nonstop in her brain had anything to do with that we'll never know.  
  
She sighed happily as she opened her Tab x-tra and drank half of it in one gulp, but when her sister, with a startling resemblance to Jessie, declared that she was the most beautiful person on earth, she once again found herself wanting to kill something, and she snickered evilly as her deep and completely unfounded hate for Exeggcutors seized control over her subcounciousness.  
  
  
  
As Joey and Chandler tried to explain what was going on to Ross (something that was a rather hard task since they didn't have a clue themselves) four young men with smiles taken straight from the toothpaste commercial entered the clearing, and Misty immediately started to scream and jump up and down at the sight of them.  
  
"Hi, I'm Ben!" one of them said and vent over and hugged her, and she started to blush like heck and giggled nervously as the three others approached her and hugged her too, and after that her eyes was all glassy, and she looked like her mind was somewhere 24 light-years away. The boys just smiled friendly at her.  
  
"Hey, I just got this marvelous idea!" the blond one exclaimed, "Let's summon all our friends and give huge free concert here!"  
  
"Yay!" all the others cheered and started to dial numbers at their cell phones. After a couple minuets a bus came driving, and dropped of Backstreet Boys, Nzync, 5Five, Westlife, Hanson, Ricky Martin, Aaron Carter, Boyzone plus Take That and New Kids On The Block who was re - united for the occasion. Misty was beyond screaming and her brain was in total seizure.  
  
"This is so great!" Nick exclaimed and looked at the horrified pokèpeople, Jessie fearhugging Mondo who had appeared out of nothing for her dear life, Butch and Meowth clinging to each other and Ash painfully alone and hyperventilating. He didn't seem to mind that the only ones that didn't look like they was facing Satan himself was Misty and Mondo. Misty for her obvious pre - teenager girl reasons, and Mondo since his face at the moment was buried in Jessie's bust and he saw nothing in particular to complain over.  
  
Ash, shaking violently and weeping his eyes all the time suddenly looked over at Chandler, Joey and Ross.  
  
"Hey, a bunch of boybands are gonna give the concert from hell here, and you don't mind?!" he exclaimed.  
  
"You see, kid, since we're in a show that's not supposed to provoke people in any way we don't have any real opinions about it." Joey said.  
  
"So technically, Vengaboys can show up singing that lousy ballad at their last album and we still wouldn't give a rattata's ass about it." Ross continued.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And I'm not really a boyband." Ricky Martin said.  
  
"Me either!" Aaron Carter peeped in.  
  
"And we're not!" Hanson shouted.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Since the author had a huge poster of us in her room for two years, and she would never had that of a real boyband."  
  
"Yeah… I guess that since they got Man from Milwaukee and Mmmbop they doesn't count as a boyband, since real boybands never would have anything like that." Butch said.  
  
"I guess." Meowht agreed, "Let's just send 'em away before something bad happens." Butch nodded, and the Hanson boys shaved themselves bald and seated in a bus stop in just their boxers and started to talk in yellow walkie - talkies. Then, after a few moments, they threw the walkie - talkies over their shoulders and flew of, arguing whether to go to Milwaukee, Albertane or Mars.  
  
As the boybands entered the stage Jessie found herself wanting to either cry, kill herself, or get high on anything that would make her high. Fearhugging Mondo wasn't half as satisfying as fearhugging James, but since he still was something to hold onto she closed her eyes, bit her tongue not to scream and held him tighter, and her brain was repeating her new mantra over and over again. They're not boyband they're vocal groups, they're not boybands they're vocal groups, they're not boybands they're vocal groups was the only clear thought she had, but when she heard the first words in Flying without wings she started to scream in fair despair, and everybody else did too, except Mondo who still had his face in paradise and couldn't cared less of anything else. Misty stood in front of the stage and shrieked on top of her lungs, and then managed to collapse.  
  
George W. Bush entered the stage.  
  
"I would like to say that this little gathering collecting money to the poor junkies in Los Angeles is highly appreciated by the government…"  
  
"Butch! Butch, sing! SING!!" Jessie wailed, desperately wanting somebody to die, either herself or the boybands. Preferably the boybands.  
  
"Why?" he asked, something that seemed like an unbelievable silly and unnecessary question at the time, but Meowth let out a high sound, like the one cats make when they are stomped on the tail.  
  
"That's Meowht's screech attack." The voice from Dexter was heard.  
  
"Yes! Their defense greatly fell!" Butch cheered.  
  
"But we're not attacking them!"  
  
"Darn!"  
  
Just before despair was starting to make them start killing each other a loud, rumbling sound could be heard, with voices chanting "Ex - egg - cutor! Ex - egg - cutor!", and a very faint voice shouting.  
  
"It's the exeggcutor squad!" Ash shrieked, looking more dead then alive.  
  
"Let's get outta da way!" Meowth suggested, and they hauled ass over to the nearest tree, Ash dragging Misty behind. A little fight started when all of them tried to get up into it at once, but soon everybody was seated at least 5 meters over ground, looking at a bunch of exeggcutors running over the stage, making a huge cloud of dust appear.  
  
A couple of minuets later the exeggcutors calmed down, and after then minuets of stomping on the stage they was suddenly completely still, except for the shots heard from behind them, and suddenly panic seized the exeggcutors, and they started to run into all directions, something that didn't turn out too well since all the heads wanted to run the opposite way, and with heads all around most of them still was just stamping around.  
  
More and more exeggcutors fell to the ground, and soon a little white creature with a head so huge that she should've been forced to held it up with her hands, wearing only a red - and - white striped apron appeared with a machin gun. She gave a high, insane cackle before she fired again, and soon all exeggcutors was dead by her feet. Then she cackled again, and shoot herself.  
  
After ten minuets the people in the tree carefully climbed down, and Butch vent over to the corpse of Moomie's mother. He picked up the headphones she had been wearing and listened to the music.  
  
"What the hell was she listening to?" Jessie asked.  
  
"Caught out there by Kelis."  
  
"I don't want to know what Moomie's father did to her." Joey said, and everybody shuddered as they left.  
  
  
  
On their way back all Pikachu - snatching plans and such was forgotten, partly since everybody except Misty was far to grateful that they had survived to bother, partly since Ross and Joey wouldn't leave Chandler and partly since the day was officially over. It was darkening, and everybody was wishing they was back in their beds/sleeping bags/hotel rooms, which they unfortunately wasn't. Instead they was in the middle of the forest, and the only ones with anything to help them at all was Ash and Misty with their backpacks.  
  
Jessie was about to suggest a little scheming sequence with Butch to get those backpacks when something dressed in a long, white gown fell down at the road in front of them with a groan, soon followed by two more, and then a couple of seconds later the last landed on her butt on top of the others.  
  
"Dammit! I almost had her!" one of them said and slammed his fist in the ground.  
  
"Brock, I don't think she was interested in you that way…" the one he was laying on moaned.  
  
"But… but she…  
  
"It was Mother Teresa, for God's sake! She's a nun!" James snapped.  
  
"Well… does that still count?"  
  
"I don't see why it…hi!" Cassidy said, suddenly realizing that people was staring at them.  
  
"Uhm… weren't you dead?" Joey asked after a while, since everybody else was too stunned to say anything.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Then why are you here?!"  
  
The four of them, now dressed in regular outfits, exchanged looks.  
  
"You see, there was this waiting room we was in…" James started.  
  
"Where we had to wait before they let us into heaven…" Brock continued.  
  
"For hours." Tracey shot in.  
  
"And?" Jessie prompted, trying not to throw herself in James's arms.  
  
"Well…" all four of them hesitated.  
  
"For some reason…" Cassidy tried.  
  
"There was only one sang they played there…" Tracey said.  
  
"Which was…?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Big, big girl…" Brock muttered at last.  
  
"For hours, the same thing! I thought I was going insane!" James whined with tear-filled eyes.  
  
"I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me…" Cassidy mockingly sung, before she started to sob into Tracey's shoulder.  
  
"But what does that have to do with you being here?" Misty asked and hugged Togepi, who was forgotten long ago.  
  
"You see, it was kinda stuck in our brains when we came into heaven at last…"  
  
"So we sang it."  
  
Once again silence seized the group of people and pokèmon.  
  
"And they kind of got pissed at us after two hours of whistling/humming/singing it…"  
  
"So they kicked us out."  
  
It was an interesting thing how eight people and two pokèmon managed to disbelieving exclaim "Oh, my GOD!" at once. Well, that, and "Pika, CHU!""  
  
  
  
It was three in the morning when everybody was in town again, Ash and his friends at the pokèmon center, Butch, Cassidy and Mondo in the Team Rocket HQ which for some reason was there, Joey, Chandler and Ross by some amazing trick on the couch in Central Perk and James, Jessie and Meowth in the elevator in Grand Hotel. They staggered to the door, and into the room when Jessie suddenly turned.  
  
"Meowth, who said you was going in here?" she snapped.  
  
"Myself. I'm not letting youse guys all alone here." He said, but she settled a swift kick on his butt and he flew out the door. She slammed it shut and turned to see James sound asleep on the bed, still in his uniform, and she barely managed to get to the bed before she collapsed in silent snores beside him.  



End file.
